Opinion

THE LUCK OF THE IRISH

~ASC.EDU – Mike Deville Ph.D.~

I got a real ‘this changes everything’ shock last week.  About a month ago I’m channel surfing trying to find something to waste my time on. It wasn’t that hard. TV just keeps getting better. Seriously….Swamp People? Hoarders? The Real Housewives of Hornell? Have they left out anything? How about “Battle of the CDH Chefs”? Or maybe “LOST: The Mackenzie Edition”?

Anywho I caught a show called “Who Are You?” put on by Ancestry.com. (Hey, the choice was Myth Busters blowing things up or the Syrians blowing things up.) Here’s the deal: this Ancestry show uses your DNA (collected discreetly and unobtrusively, I’m sure) to track down your ancestors, or at least their records, since your ancestors are long gone.

If you haven’t seen the show, it’s worth a few minutes. The best part is when they find out people have some ‘surprise’ ancestors and relatives, like when Lebron James found out he’s related to Newt Gingrich, stuff like that. And Whitney Houston’s great great grandfather was Sam Houston, the man who discovered Texas. They even found out O’bama’s grandmother was white. Amazing stuff.

Hey, I’ve been waiting for this stuff ever since they figured out how to test DNA, back in the day when Bill Clinton was caught in the Oval Office with Monica. Here’s my theory: if they DNA-tested everyone in the US of A, there’d be some real surprises! Am I right or am I right? I thought so.

Well I sure got my surprise! Last week I got the results of my DNA test. Hey, the test was only $19.95, and they took the DNA from my check (the one on my face). I was a little disappointed that they didn’t need ‘the other DNA,’ but hey, that’s life.

I am IRISH! DNA results prove it! I’m still in shock, but I’m dealing with it.

All my life I thought my ancestors were French because of the Deville name. It’s not like I speak French. Sure, I can say “hors d’oeuvres” and “Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?” but that’s about 5th grade level French. Still, I just ‘felt’ sort of French, in an Alfred sort of way, if you know what I mean.

So Mike Deville is IRISH! I’ve got to adjust my whole thinking now that I’m Irish. The good news is it’s just in time for St. Patrick’s Day! I’ve always skipped that holiday, but now I see whole new possibilities. First, I’m heading to Wal-Mart to buy some green clothes. I want one of those stupid looking leprechaun hats and a couple of shamrocks to wear on my green shirt. And I’m planning to buy all The Irish Rovers CDs and a couple of Bono CDs, because Bono’s one of my Irish brothers now.

Let’s not forget the BEER!

When I drink, it’s usually coffee at the ‘Jet, but now that I’m Irish, I can see BEER has to be part of my life.  Evenings I’m more of a wine guy, but I’ll have to try some beer before March 17th to be ready for the celebrations. Got any recommendations? I’ve heard of Guinness, so I guess I’ll start with that. I hear even CDH will offer green beer at the evening meal on St. Patrick’s Day.

So I’m taking my first steps down that long highway called ‘being Irish.’ It won’t be an easy journey, I know. Besides the beer and the green clothes, I’ve got to educate myself about ‘the little isle of green’ called Ireland. I know it’s over next to England and that’s about it, but with God and Google on my side, I’ll know a lot more about Ireland by the time I graduate from Camp Alfred.

Don’t worry; I’m still the same old Mike Deville, and I’ll never lose that Camp Alfred vibe. My years here at Camp Alfred will stay with me as long the Kanakadea Creek flows through Alfred. But the next time you see me, if you’re Irish, give me that secret Irish hand signal greeting I found on Wikipedia. And if you see me at GJ’s sometime, just bring me glass of Guinness.

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